just a call.

the past 2 days were miserable. 

for many a reason. 

but i've kept most of it in, as i always do.

which just puts me on edge for every little thing.

but last night, after almost a full day of listening to music alone in bed.

i finally got to get it all out.

i bawled to derek for 40 minutes straight.

i told him about my terrible anatomy test scores.

about my fears for someone i love to death.

how i missed my ollie.

about how my severe stabbing pains are now occurring daily.

how my blood has boiled a bit lately.

how i hate being away from him when he's the only person i need.

and he told me..

that i'm an idiot for being too stubborn to go to a doctor. 

to promise him i'll go this week [ i'm still not going to]

that there is no use crying about school, but rather do something about it.

that radiography is still a good idea, cause i'll look cute in scrubs & nikes.

to let my blood simmer & let things blow over.

to not live in fear of what could happen.

about when he heard an ollie bark & missed her too.

that he can't wait til i move back so we can progress.

and he told me how he is madly in love with me.

that he has been from way before the ollie voices & before we were old enough to understand it.
ever since those last few months of his sophomore year.

its funny how just one call & a few inside jokes can erase every bit of sadness within.

-h