Monday, February 28


someone you'd switch lives with for a day.

my first thought to this prompt was mah gurl shakira. 
as far as i can tell, she's the cutest celeb in all the world.
buut then i realized that i wouldn't really wanna be a celebrity cause at the end of the day,
i'd just hate my life of actually have to pay for stuff
(even though they could afford just about anything. ridic)
& nobody outside a 5 mile radius knowing my name.
SO. i've decided.
if i were to switch lives with anyone, i'd become a BOY.
doesn't matter who, just a clean cut, normal, cute boy.

i've always wanted to know if girls really are "walking pornography"
why the hell halo is so great.
what they talk about when girls aren't around.
umm..what's its like to.. "enjoy" a girls presence. G rated enough?
jump off things & somehow have the time of their lives.
eat anything & everything. then some more. and look good.
go shirtless whenev.
see the world from a whole foot higher.
have short hair.
 look at my girl self why in boy mentality & see what "boy me" thinks.
have a flat chest. mine came early, i've forgotten.
see why they think abnormally large muscles make them cooler.  it doesn't.
simply slip some nikes & a hat on and look damn good.
to pee annnywhere.

  reasons & pictorial evidence as to why being a boy would be superb.
that boy in the first 2 pics is a baaabe without trying. not fair.


Saturday, February 26


5 things that gross you out.

feta cheese balls/squares/circles.
instant nausea. prob cause i got the flu riiiight after consuming 4.
 i'll never see them the same.

so badd. 

i just really wonder why this is considered sexy. is it that hard to wear a bra?

what a classy gal we have here.

 ohhh, such a  lovely invention.

creepy creepertons.
stage 5 clingers. the lingerers. old men who think they still got that lil somethin going for 'em.
yeahh. we all know the type.

bout as real as it gets.

 sticky icky.
dirty or messy people & children.
my kids will be pristine.

this honestly gives me anxiety.

plastic surgery junkies.
one great way to ruin a beautiful person.


i will never understand why megan & heidi did this to themselves.
[yeahh, wer're on first name basis, no big]


Thursday, February 24

utter misery.


i have come to know the reason 3/4 of this word spells die.
cauuuse that's what i wanna do right now.
day 3. and i'm famished. 
saddest part? i'm only controlling portions. a bit. and not eating out.
so basically i'm eating kitten meals, as i like to call it.
all i want is a big steak & mashed potatoes. 
the other night [after only 4 hours of conscious dieting] 
i had derek explain in explicit detail our favorite kind of pizza that he had for dinner.
but after eating everything for the last 6 months,
i'm in dire need of this.
its out of controllll. 
i'm just a fat girl who loves her food too much.
buuut i gotta fit into my new yellow kini. gotta.

-NOT so little.

Tuesday, February 22


favorite lyrics from favorite artist?

i absolutely love lykke li. she has such a pure & angelic little voice.
[hate that she was on the Twilight soundtrack though]
these lyrics combined with her frail voice has helped me get through many a bad time.
not everything is perfect. i can't be perfect, love can't be perfect, life can't be perfect.
but that's perfectly fine.
 it just is what it is & you just have to make the best of it.
& look on the bright side.

I sit tight, don't want to miss the show
I hang on, don't want to miss my prime
Time will fly, upon my baby's back
Time will fly, upon my baby's back

Stay a while, my baby wants me to
Don't you go, my baby begs me so
But tide will dry, upon my baby's back
Tide will dry, upon my baby's back

And I get weak
I get weary
I miss sleep
I get moody
I'm in thoughts 
I write songs
I'm in love
I walk on

So fingers crossed, my time is coming now
Don't you go, my baby begs me so
Time will fly, upon my baby's back
Time will fly, upon my baby's back


Monday, February 21


thought you had this last week.

this one is quite personal.
 buuuut might as well share because..let's just face it, i'm an open book.

kayy so i've had the privilege of hanging out with some great boys this weekend. they are returned missionaries,
sweet, amusing & just down right fun to be around. and for the first time in 3 years, i'm really realizing that there are so many boys out there. this is not to say i'm involved or even feeling inclined to date anyone else, that really has never been an issue cause there just isn't anyone out there like D,  but it makes me wonder if falling in love at the ripe ole age of 16 was more detrimental than beneficial.  it has also brought up the whole concept that there is no such thing as a soulmate. as lovey dovey & all about romance that i am, i do firmly believe this. i believe that you could make something work with a select few in this world,  just depends where & what your sights are set on. another issue is that lately, i've been wanting to travel the world & live a fulfilling life before i have so many responsibilities, but that's much harder with a boyfriend. today he told me that long distance is just too hard, that he needs to see me everyday. yes, no doubt i love hearing that stuff, but my comeback to that was that we are 19. and we neeed to live our own lives & have our own experiences. i don't want to hold anyone back & i surely won't be resented 20years down the road because of selfish reasons.  i'm quite confused & torn lately. the hardest part is that its not like i'm treated poorly or i'm in an unhealthy relationship, its purely my own cold footed little self. i just know for a fact that there is no way to have a strong, successful & resilient relationship unless both parties are independent & can be their own selves without the another. 

this song has always made me so positive on this subject.
it was the biggest help that week before i moved down to st. george &
couldn't bear the thought of not having him just a stone's throw away.
the lyrics are just great.


Saturday, February 19



i could not have 2 better, opposite, protective, fun or perfect brothers.
they are my best friends & i honestly feel bad for anyone who doesn't have older brothers like them.

robert aaron hennefer.
[robbie, roberto, bobby, brother]
this boy is a genius & probably one of the best boys i've ever known.
he's 25, married his best friends cousin & is terrified yet eager about his baby girls coming in june.
the worst thing he did in high school was swear. he worked his way up to the highest position on his mission. he is now an honor student at BYU & getting ready for his new job in new york as a wall street businessman.  he is by farrrr the golden child.
 its actually SUPER annoying. whatever.  
he is also a know it all & every time i come home, we argue about grammar, games, songs, etc. we're reeeally competitive.
when we were kids, he was my protector. i slept with him every night. and even when he came home from the mish we'd have slumber parties if i watched a scary movie. i also gave him all the advice on how to win alyssa over cause before they were ever close to dating [he was in college, she was a sophomore & closer to my age than his] she told me she was going to marry my brother someday. lo and behold, here we are today.
so yeahh. you can consider me their matchmaker.  

they are impossible to get pictures of. that's why its so limited.

matthew russell hennefer.
[henny, shink, matty, brother]
this boy could make friends with anyone. he has a heart of gold through & through.
i used to hate him.
only within the last 2 years have we finally gained a strong bond with each other. he was always been the party boy. 
we'd fight. he'd kick me. often using my chubbiness against me. ruin my barbies [you do NOT mess with those]
and being the baby & only girl, i'd scream, tattle and pout until i got my way.
so he  hated me back. it was a never ending cycle for us. but after high school, we both grew up & now we're BEST friends. every time i'm up in slc, him or his friends blow my phone up to come play. love that. 
my favorite are his texts that say "if you _____ for me, then i'll buy you treats & other things"
 if i do him favors, he buys me just about anything. he is also extremely creative & talented. he makes music sample & beats to sell to various producers, one of which is his best friend. 
he's my favorite little hipster party boy. 
[he'd punch me if he saw that last statement]


i absolutely love my brothers. i think i'm one of the luckiest girls around.

they like me too. obvi. like this picture doesn't show it or anything.


Friday, February 18


song you love at this very moment.

good timing for this post. i'm o b s e s s e d  with this song. 
bicycle-memory tapes.

there is really nothing to say about this song.
once you listen, you'll understand.
especially once it gets to 3:22.

my advice is to blast it. 
possibly turn some black lights on.
you don't don't have those at hand? weird.
its sorta feels like being on some kind of drug trip.
but without the guilt nor the bishops interview.
yayy for sobriety! 


Thursday, February 17


seeing as i love la musica & i have a different song stuck in my head erra day,
 i'm going to share the love every once in a while.

habit you wish you didn't have.

burps. given, mine are more like little gasps rather than actual belches, but stilll. i feel so unladylike afterwards. i say sorry & excuse me after every one of them, which ends up just bugging me more cause i do it so often. i think the fact that clay laughs after each one of them makes me think its some kind of adorable quirk in his eyes--but really I NEED TO STOP.

hair fiddling. i don't know how to put a name to this specific habit, but i always always push my hair back at the roots. to like switch up the part or something, i don't know. buuut i do it alll the time, many a picture has documented it when i am unaware. someone was asking about me once & explained me as the "girl who always pushes her hair back". its a joke.

asking unanswerable questions. this is especially evident when i'll be watching tv with people & we'll flip it to a new show. then i'll ask everyone the who, what, where, when & whys. as if they knew anymore than i did. it annoys the heck out of me when i catch myself doing it.

spending. the more money i have, the more i spend. i don't even spend a lot at once on something great, i just nickel & dime myself to poverty every paycheck. i wish i were responsible & saved it.


Wednesday, February 16


first things first, this song is splendid. betcha couldn't guess who sent it to me.

annnd back to my neglected blog challenge:

5 things you are looking forward to in 2011.

let's do this in chronological order, shall we?

3 year anniversary.
that's coming up pretty quickly here. april 16th, to be exact.
in fact, today is our 34 month anniverary.
we've had our fair share of rocky moments. one of which we're still going through currently
 [i have to earn the title of girlfriend again hahahah. he keeps me in check. adorable]
wish i could say it was his fault.. but it hardly ever is. anyway. he's the one thing i can always rely on. i know i drive him crazy, make him sad & give him no reason to be mine at times, but i also know he'll always be there. even if we don't end up together in the long run, he has taught me how to genuinely love a person through thick & thin.

we just picked up the camera & took this. 
without planning, we'd both pulled the ugliest faces around. 
so, its a keeper :)

 finishing dixie with the 4 cutest girls around.
 i love st. george. its small,  there is no forever 21 and its 300 miles away from everyone, but i feel so happy & blessed living here. especially cause i walk to class in dresses in february with the sun melting away all stress & the birds chirping a chipper little spring song. remember how i love the simple things? sometimes when the girls and i drive to dinner or the grocery store, blasting the ping pong song and she's so high- i just stop and look around at them and realize how much i LOVE them and i'm so grateful for them. they've become such a big part of my life. i'm going to miss living with them so very much. they are lovely girls & you are lucky if you know them. even more lucky if you get to marry one :)

9 + jess. 

pretty sure this explains itself.
this summer might suck a bit because derek won't be living in utah due to work. but between twilight concerts, the hot sun & 100% dress weather there is no way i won't be happy as can be.
i must sound redundantly obsessive about these dresses, but i assure you, its a legitimate euphoric feeling i have when i get to wear them.
its the biggest reason i love summer & hate winter. 
plus, the less clothes the better, right?

everyday with my babies once again :)
 especially now that anne brady is talking up a storm and old enough to go to the pool & other fun adventures. not to mention anne carson, who is not only the best employer [$50 gift certificates to f21 just because], but she has become such a good friend. she knows everything about myself & my family and she has the greatest perspective seeing as she's young and a mother as well.


becoming an A U N T!
haven't let this one out of the bag yet [i was reprimanded for telling the whole world via fbook that my brother & his wife were having twins before my grandparents could find out :/ ] but the little identical twins are G I R L S!! they will be dark, curly headed little beauties with big pretty eyes. everyone says personality wise, they're gonna be just like me :) because i WILL teach them each how to be a wild child like myself. duhhh. adorable, demanding, sweet yet feisty little beings they shall be.

my handsome brother & his gorgeous wife :)

 living with 2 of my very best friends.
they say i'm trouble.
 but put me with gin & jas? uh. oh. that is the joke among us. 3 little rapscallions.
guarantee we will be raising hell on a daily basis.
i couldn't be more excited. janey & i have been planning this for years,
then suddenly jasmine came into the picture and it was a perfect fit!
and now we'll be living in a cute little condo all to ourselves.
i'm kinda concerned provo/orem will vex me, or at least some of the citizens.
just this weekend i was cut off by a stupid muscle man in a huge truck. i loathed him.
hopefully guys like that will be a minority. probably not.
just another reason for my forte to be displayed & to cause a rumpus :)


Tuesday, February 15

month of LOVE.

i have had a very lovely & busy week so i haven't been able to blog at alll.
which i've heard quite an earful about from my dutiful readers.
 whom i ADORE for even noticing my absence from the cyber world.

first of all. everyone is getting engaged. this really is a month of love. where spirits and twitterpations are accelerated & people are ready to commit. i love seeing that, but i feel so weird that its all girls i've grown up with. already 11 girls my age are engaged or married. ELEVEN!! on one hand, it makes me want to be a cute little housewife but on the other, i know i don't want to get married until i'm 24, mayyyybe 23. i'm not opposed to early marriages, but once i'm married, it will be in the temple FOREVER. annnd that's a long time.
 so i'm good without having all those responsibilities for a lil while longer. 
but congratulations to all of those who are ready!!

i lovelovelove this picture. this is my temple of choice for marriage.
because its a castle & i believe entering such a covenant is a true sign of the highest royalty.

2nd. i had to say goodbye to mister joust for 2 years as he travels to mexico for a mish. he will be much missed by all the girls in number 9. especially his deep, infectious laugh & straight up weird mannerisms. ohhh & though i've known him..what, 4 months? he decided to give ME his 80 gig ipod. no idea why. but i love him for it :)

love jousty.

numba 9 alwaysss.

thirrrrdly. i love home. i love my parents. my pregnant sister. my cozy house. my know-it-all brother. my stoner bro. my ollie girl. my handsome [non] boyfriend.
 prov-my new 2nd home cause D lives there now. my pretty best friend. 
i love being among all these people & places. it def made my weekend.

fammmm game night. 
the biggest reason i come home so often.

its the littleness. this is the only way i can be eye level.
 i look like a tarrrd. he's cute.