Monday, March 21


2 confessions.

          i've almost planned my whole wedding. do i know the groom? no. do i know when it'll be? course not. yet, almost every detail is worked out. this is the ultimate confession cause its just so embarrassing that i'm one of those girls. i won't go into full detail of every plan, but the main components are vintage tables, chairs & china in cream, mint green and a third color, which could be eggplant purple or an orangey coral, it changes from day to day.  it will be an outside wedding in either spring or fall. there will be lights in all the trees & at the entrace table, an abundance of varied  old school birdcages ( i have an odd obsession), dozens of candles of every size and in assorted candelabras, an area to watch our vid of all our many pictures with different chairs of every color & shape, along with a blanket to sit on with fun pillows everywhere.  pale pink & white barely-bloomed peonies are my flowers and they will be in large bundled balls on every table & everywhere you look.  my dress will be a mermaid styled dress with a collar of sorts & tight elbow length sleeves. my hubs suit will be a cute dark gray and a mint green tie, of course. i'll be wearing bubble gum pink lipstick. the ushe. my hair will probably be down, cause i'm sorta known for it. you could say its my trademark since way back to the elementary days. plus i'm hidioso with my hair up.  annnd since i'm confessing.. i've already picked out my children's names. but we won't get into that.

        i've been trying to avoid this at all costs, but recently i've realized more than ever the hard reality of myself. besides the long hair & lady lumps,  i'm a boy.  i love a good hook up (used to). the last time i was single for like 4 months, i had a string of boys to call when in need. i'd have some take me on dates, get the free food, jazz tickets & a little lovin, then never text or call them back. i have one of the dirtiest minds. the boys agree. i can make anything inappropriate. i swear like a sailor ( as you all know by now).  i'm more down to get down than the average girl. so i've heard. and recently, i've discovered that i'm scared of commitment. i feel almost suffocated by the thought of a relationship. don't get me wrong, love the boy to death still, but i just feel like i want to date around more. cause its been 3 yeeeears. before i met D though, i'd never get attached. i'd string boys along,  often being called a heart breaker. weird. but like really?  i was born into the wrong gender.  there are some good things about this, but for the most part. i want to be a sweet, lovely little lady. like emily from the bachelor.  i'm working on it. but i'll tell you what, its not easy. 
disclaimer: even being partially made up of boy mentality, i still get attached. cry at movies. get ovvvverly emotional at ridiculous things. AND i'm still a good girl. my List of Kissed is still under 10 :) and that down to get down stuff? its clever, but i assure you its not literal. 


1 comment:

Madi Bringhurst said...

oh my gosh. your wedding is going to be.. immaculate. and beautiful. People are going to flock to witness that day! I wish I could plan all of that stuff out in my head.

I think its so funny that your first confession is so girly, and then your second is about how you think you should be a boy? I HIGHLY disagree. You are 100% girl. I don't know anyone who knows how to be more of a female and a woman. yes, I said both because I think they portray different things. your smell. your dress. your make-up. your obsession with the details. I could go on and on.

ah. we both know I've tried to learn how to be more feminine by following your example. goodness. you have it all down! BEAUTIFUL.