In English, I was told to write a formal persuasive letter to someone that WOULD be receiving it via mail. So, since i'm just a chatty kathy around Clay, he seemed the best person for the job. It may look long and intimidating, but its entertaining. promise.
Mr. Derek Clay Killough:
It has come to my attention that you will not be attending next semester at Dixie State College as planned and promised previously this year. This upsets the scheduling you know I rigorously undergo and presents an issue for the relationship that we have worked on as a team for the past three years. I would also like to bring to your attention what a special young lady I happen to be, and therefore I am looking out for YOU, by requesting your presence immediately.
I realize you must lead your own life, my dear, but i do believe one would look at us as two peas in a pod. And what is a pea to do without her fellow pod mate? Living two minutes apart from one another has a much greater appeal than the 5 hours we are currently suffering, and that in and of itself should be argument enough. But if it doesn’t quite do the job for you, I feel much obliged to list reasons as to why I should be seeing you here, come January. Let’s start with the opposite sex, shall we? They get awfully flirty down here in southern Utah and i’m most positive you don’t want a coy and clever southerner sweeping your sweetheart of her feet! Also, you’ve heard “out of sight, out of mind”. i know you don’t want to be at risk of being forgotten by my scattered self. Last but not least, as you’ve told me numerous times, “you're not content til by my side”. Self Explanatory. That just about sums it up, my argument should be settled.
My conclusion to this matter is for you to forget all prior obligations, pack up and come live a blissful four months with your beloved. It would be greatly appreciated if you would comply without further ado. I trust this letter will catch wind as it slowly drifts to the ground, while you run to the top floor of your lonely and boring home in Draper to throw your belongings together to see me as soon as is possible. Until then, i'll be waiting. Impatiently. As always.
Thank you for your time.
Your little darling.