'leven look back.

You know what? this was one of my hardest years to date, i think. 

many things really shook me up. but between the hardships, there were so many blessings that i feel ungrateful even talking about trials. 

A lot of the shit that happened was sort of karma, i suppose.  

well, of course it was karma. i've been a damn fool the past few years. 

but i'm being ambiguous and that's really annoying. 

let's do a 'leven look back, shall we?

I left saint george,

 and with it, went a part of my heart.

Where I made friends that i intend keeping all the way to heaven.

I became an aunt.

the obnoxious kind that talks about it every second and shows countless pictures.

but you already know that.

derek and i struggled. more than we ever have. But like my mom said today, we've "been through everything and back already. [we] can handle more that most couples". seri, i take pride in the fact that we haven't had it easy. It makes it all the better to know we have each other.

 He's def my bef :)

    

i got my first real job. even though i still feel like a dressed up child most of the time. 

My best friend since first grade received her mission call. i start to tear up every time i think about it. She's been in my life longer than any friend. and i'm so proud of her. of anyone, i know she deserves it. 

Watch out, non-mormons of Portugal. 

madi is soon on her way.

i think i chose my future career finally. Thanks to all the prodding of derek, who told me if there was one thing i was good at, it was arguing, so i might as well get paid for it. LAW SCHOOL HERE I COME!

I've become crafty. serious change. i'm the most uncreative person i know. and though they may be small, like spray painting baskets to become trinket holders or making simple holiday gifts, i'm about as proud as it gets.

i cannot tell you how many times derek and i have hung out with my parents on weekend nights the past few months. we go out, we stay in, we talk, we watch movies. we're each other's double daters now. i'm not ashamed. 

with that precious smile, how could i be?

and mostly, i've changed. 

remember the LITERAL wild child i used to be? well she's settled down. 

i don't know if that is temporary or permanent, some things should probably stick around longer. 

like the fact that i used to live off of attention. 

 i AM ashamed of that. really quite pathetic. 

now, sweats and no makeup hardly faze me. 

2012. 

the best is yet to come.

h